Courageous Conversations: Imposter Syndrome Out Loud.
Imposter syndrome is something that affects many people but it disproportionately affects women, specifically women of color. I’d describe imposter syndrome to be a psychological occurrence when people feel like they are not good enough, but specifically feelings of not belonging or being undeserving of success or opportunity. People who experience imposter syndrome fail to internalize their accomplishments and have persistent self-doubt and fear. It’s sometimes characterized as the dilemma between who we are and who we are perceived to be.
According to a study by Heriot-Watt University and the School for CEOs, “More than half of women said they have felt like impostors, compared to only 24% of men.” In addition, “younger people were more prone to feeling like an impostor: 45% of young professionals compared with 30% of older professionals said they doubt their abilities.”
Imposter syndrome is likely attributed to a variety of factors, which can include family environment and upcoming, social pressures, and the lack of a sense of belonging. This can manifest from childhood, including a child growing up feeling like they need to be perfect or prove themselves to their parents. Perfectionism is a tough sell for a lot of us, as it can make our anxiety feel that mistakes come with risks or certain things aren't good enough. It sets an unrealistic expectation that mistakes or missteps aren't a natural part of life's experiences. It’s an illusion we’ve created in our heads as a way out of achieving greatness.
But let's not also exclude systematic racism and misogyny as factors that also play a critical role in the development of imposter syndrome. The lack of representation for underrepresented groups makes all the difference. When we don’t see people from similar backgrounds succeeding or being given an opportunity in our respective fields, it heightens the feelings of not belonging. When we frame it like this, impostor syndrome is not just an internal, personal struggle but one that can also affect a community.
Believe it or not, I’ve dealt with imposter syndrome a few times in my career, but most notably when I decided to transition from Higher Education into the Tech Industry. I constantly questioned if I had made the right choice and if I was qualified for the actual role. This is the same thought process many of us go through when we experience unfamiliar situations or make major transitions, and ask ourselves pretty tough questions about our abilities and decision-making. It's also not uncommon for feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, guilt, or sometimes even self-sabotage to arise during these times as well.
I know this feeling all too well, especially as someone who's prided themselves on being a top performer. I admit, I put pressure on myself to learn quickly and execute deliverables because that's what I was used to. Instead, I should have given myself grace and acknowledged that I had just made a HUGE career transition.
We all know that transitions aren’t just about doing something different, but a career transition is a lifestyle redesign that often entails rethinking how you want to feel at the end of the day, how you want to spend your time, and how this relates to your longer-term goals. Meaning it’s not a straightforward decision, but one that requires careful planning and thinking. After going through the emotional agony my first 30 days, I realized the pressure was unnecessary and the skills I had come into the position with helped me to ramp up quickly and learn the ins and outs of my new role in this new industry.
Imposter Syndrome is more common than you think, and far too often do most individuals experiencing the phenomenon do it alone. When working with some of my clients, I've had to "call them in" (as opposed to calling them out) for negative self-talk, mostly stemming from imposter syndrome. I've heard things like:
"I'm hesitant to apply to the role"
"They'll never choose me."
"Not sure I'm ready for that yet."
"I'm not qualified."
"I didn't think I can ask for more money."
Do any of the above sentiments resonate with you? Have you found yourself consistently experiencing self-doubt, even in areas where you typically excel? You might find that you often question your ability or ask yourself, "What gives me the right?"
Imposter Syndrome happens in a cycle, and the more you’re able to identify it and understand it, the more empowered you are to change it. Here’s a few ways I’ve worked to curtail and unmask imposter syndrome for myself:
#1: ACKNOWLEDGE IT.
Too often we don’t acknowledge the fact we struggle with self-doubt and negative self-talk. Combatting imposter syndrome isn’t about ignoring our emotions. There’s strength in sitting in your emotions, feeling it, and acknowledging them out loud in a safe space. Of course, it is easier said than done, as we often live in our own heads. When combating imposter syndrome, mindfulness is an important practice that involves paying attention to your thoughts as they arise and considering how they’re affecting you. I see this as a reinvestment back into your mental and physical health.
#2: REFRAME YOUR THOUGHTS.
Shifting language is critical. According to Bob Proctor, “Thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand.” It’s the exercise of shifting from "I can't to "I can". Positive affirmations otherwise known as positive self-talk allow you to reframe your mindset and have a new perspective, a more positive one, thus causing a positive outcome. One way you can start changing your self-talk is by writing down “I am” affirmations in a journal before getting your day started. You can even go as far as repeating them in the mirror to yourself to really connect with your thoughts. Whatever you say, you affirm.
Over the years I’ve developed an arsenal of questions to assist me in redirecting my thoughts and reframing my thinking about myself and the work that I do. The below questions are intended to help alleviate stress, dispel cognitive distortions, and hopefully present a more growth-minded approach to how we think about ourselves.
Has there been anything in my past or present work experience that triggered me to think about myself as an imposter? If so, what were the events that confirmed this for me?
What exactly am I afraid of other people discovering about me?
What about people discovering my weaknesses scare me?
Are my weaknesses definitely something that I can change?
What would it be like to adopt a different mindset and live without Imposter Syndrome?
What are the strengths that I already have?
What emotions come up when you think of yourself as an imposter?
When do I begin to feel like I am an imposter?
When I begin to feel like an imposter, what can I do in the moment to reframe my thoughts?
#3: STICK WITH THE FACTS.
When imposter feelings emerge, it’s important to ask yourself whether any actual facts support these feelings. What's been helpful for me is listing challenges I’ve overcome, and documenting learnings, results, and any accompaniments. Over time, this has become my personal brag book that’s supported me in times of self-doubt. This exercise allowed me to see the incredible progress I’ve made. Remember, progress over perfection.
#4: DO IT SCARED.
If you’re anything like me, I can get in my own way sometimes. However, I've come to realize that growth doesn’t happen in my comfort zone.
We tell ourselves we're too busy to pursue our dreams, but what if the real reason we're putting off our goals is fear? It's the fear that we're not good, smart, talented, or capable enough. It's the fear that others might laugh at us or that we'll get hurt or be rejected. It's the fear that pursuing our true potential will simply be too hard. And most of all, it's the fear that we'll fail.
But having courage doesn't mean we're never afraid. True courage means taking action despite fear. True courage means doing it scared.
This means, be under-qualified and get in the room anyway. Be messy and imperfect, and unsure but show up anyway. Don’t meet all the job requirements, apply anyway. Not fully prepared for the job interview, still show up and give it your all.
“Saying yes doesn’t mean the fears will go away. Saying yes means giving yourself permission to play bigger than you’ve ever played before—even if your knees are knocking and your teeth are chattering. True commitment is looking in the face of fear and saying yes anyway. Then you embody the no-matter-what energy: No matter what, I’m going to do it!”
– LISA NICHOLS
Remember, you have the keys to your own kingdom. You create your own destiny. You create the life of your dreams. So remember, if at any time you don’t like the route your life is taking, you can always change it but you have to be willing to make that first step even if it scares you. Cheers to being the incredible human you are!
